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Sunday, April 11, 2010

One Step Forward and Two Steps Back

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed, speak, have an opinion, think, or even breathe. I'm sure you have all had them. The days where absolutely anything you do is an excuse for a verbal assault from another. An explosion of unnecessary, unprovoked, unwanted, and undeserved hostility made exponentially worse having been done in front of others.

Today's faux pas was telling my husband how to drive. This consisted of two separate remarks while we were driving to a charity event 35 minutes from our home. The first "you can do 60 now." I only mentioned it because we were already late having made two unscheduled stops for my spouse to sell a motorcycle. He was excitedly talking to me about the bike sale and didn't notice the increase in the speed limit. My second remark was "watch the guy on the bicycle." Once again he was talking with me, looking my way, and the cyclist was in our lane. Apparently that was enough to elicit a loud tirade in front of his friend that went with us. Never mind that I was deeply hurt by this. After all, it was justified. I deserved it.

One little half-hearted apology later, not in the presence of the witness, is supposed to erase all the pain. News flash! It does not. You are still hurt and sad while they think nothing more of their behavior.

At what point do we stop accepting the disrespect? If they do not see what they do as wrong, or at the least feel they had a part in the problem, what comes next? When is enough?

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Why Can't Everyone Just Get Along?

I'm sitting here helping my daughter hash out the agreement between her and her husband for their divorce. Ten years down the drain. I want her to be happy and do whatever it takes to make that happen but it is still very sad.

It seems to be an equitable split. Both of them will retain the house and land splitting the assets and debts equally. He moved into the spare bedroom and they plan to remain living together as roommates. This type arrangement seldom works, but we will see.

I would love to hear from anyone out there that this arrangement worked for. I just can't see continued harmony after the first one brings a new love interest home. Just can't picture them sitting together watching TV and socializing...